Chapter Zero
Introduction
“What you don’t understand is..’’ is all he managed to say before the man lunged at him,
fist first. The man tried his best to fight off his attacker but it seemed every time he tried
to punch back he was hit instead. He covered his face, the other manlhit him in the
stomach, he covered his body, he got hit in the face.
The man woke up. These dreams have been occurring frequently and they had
troubled him at first. While they were never exactly the same, there was a common
thread throughout, he always wound up getting beat up. He took these dreams to be a
sign that he was getting better. In the dreams the people who attacked him always were
ordinary looking people, slightly built, unlike himself. He took it to mean that they were
jealous or envious of him, as they should be.
He had been out of the “hospital” for just over two months and had decided he needed a
change. During the long hours he spent talking to the doctors, he had an epiphany of
sorts. The doctors had tried to convince him that he was the reason for all of his
misfortune and he needed to change to make life better for himself. The man agreed
with the doctors, to a point. The man cou|dn’t fathom the idea that he could be
responsible for everything that has happened, it was inconceivable. The man knew he
was a great guy, and he deserved better from life.
In the months since he left the hospital, he has tried to get his life back in order. His
work, well his boss, had been great. He had been given the time off without question.
The problems are with his co-workers. They are all jealous of him. He privately thought
that they looked at him with envy, and why shouldn’t they. He is a great looking guy,
great hair, great skin tone all tanned and smooth, he’s perfect. But his co-workers made
fun of him, not to his face of course, because they are all weak and cowardly.
While back at work he had trouble getting back into the swing of things. It didn't help that he knew that his jealous co-workers were talking behind his back. He had decided
long ago that he didn’t care what they said or thought of him. They were just a bunch of
petty yentas who had nothing better than to put down those who are better than them.
Home life was a different story. He spent weekends going out to clubs and bars. He
spent hours getting himself ready to go out. The man would spend an hour just doing
his hair. There was quite a ritual he would follow involving quite a bit of expensive hair
and skin care products and only the finest and most expensive colognes.
The man stood in front of the mirror. He adjusted his collar, ran a comb through his hair
and stepped back to admire himself. He looked at his watch, he was still early, he was
supposed to meet his date in just over an hour, he had time. He swept his hands down
his pants, and bent over to buff out a small smudge on the tip of his very expensive
shoes. Still admiring himself in the mirror he turned his body slightly, and looked at his
butt. He stared at it, and began to clench and unclench his butt cheeks. He smiled to
himself, “God, I’m beautiful!”
Five minutes later he was walking out of the apartment. He had a date with a woman he
met at the gym earlier in the week. It was their second date and they she was cooking
dinner at her apartment. He was bringing a bottle of wine, which he carried in his left
hand.
It had rained earlier and the roads and sidewalks were wet and the occasional puddle
here and there. His car was parked in a spot a few spaces down from his door. There
was a small grass strip between the sidewalk and the parking lot. He noticed a large
puddle out in the parking lot next to his car and looked back and forth to see if any cars
were coming, as they might hit the puddle and splash him.
But this is where the problem began. He was so intent on looking for cars that he wasn’t
paying as close attention as he should have been when he stepped onto the wet grass.
While his shoes were expensive, they really weren't made for walking on wet grass. So
the second step he took on the grass, his front foot slid out from beneath him and he
began to fall, backwards.
It is quite amazing what can go through a persons mind in the very brief time it takes to
fall down. Most people think how silly they look, because there is no graceful way to slip
and fall. Arms and legs go off in different directions and it is simply undignified. But the
first thought that went through the mans mind wasn’t if he looked foolish, or if it was
going to hurt. The first thought through the man’s mind was, his clothes would be ruined
and he would have to take another shower.
Most people also instinctively react in a manner to break their fall. But the man made no
effort to break his fall. Why, its very, very simple, his manicure he had done that day. He
didn’t want to ruin his beautiful nails.
The man hit the ground remarkably hard, his head bounced off the sidewalk and everything went dark.
He awoke and he felt a tremendous pounding in his head, it felt as if his eyes were
trying to leap from his skull. It kept pounding and though he wanted to, he found he
couldn’t open his eyes. He heard strange noise around him, footsteps, some hurried
and others slow and methodical. There was an odor, an antiseptic smell, and he found
he didn’t like it at all. As he didn’t like where he seemed to be.
After a few minutes he tried to think what had happened. He remembered leaving the
apartment and walking out to his car, but memories of what happened next were gone.
So where was he?
He opened an eye to look around and immediately realized he was in a hospital. A
nurse walked past, and he tried to get her attention, he tried to speak. He tried to say
“Excuse me.” But what came out was a hoarse “Yseuss myee.”
She did stop and looked at his chart and when she saw his eye open she smiled at him.
“Hello.” She said, with a very thick Russian accent.
The man tried to speak again but between the pounding in his head, which reached a
new peak when he tried to speak and it seemed as if there was something wrong with
his mouth.
“Your in hospital, do you remember what happened?” The nurse asked.
The man shook his head.
“Well it seems you took a rather nasty fall and hit the back of your head on a sidewalk,
and then a bottle you were carrying hit you in the jaw.”
She checked the chart again, ‘‘It seems you have a minor concussion from the sidewalk
and a broken jaw from the bottle.”
The nurse smiled a quick charming smile and added, “But you’ll be fine, you can go
home as soon as your ready.”
She put the chart back in its holder and walked out of the room. As she did so, just
before she got to the door a little girl rushed up to her. The nurse swept her up into her
arms and gave her a big hug. The little girl while hugging the nurse looked straight at
the man. And after a moment, pointed at him and said, “He’s funny looking.”
The nurse gently patted her had down, “Don’t point and your being rude.” As she
walked out of the room.
The man lay there, and felt some strength coming back to him. He decided to take a
small nap and then he would go home.
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